When life knocks you down

Posted on by Savannah Coaker
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Do you ever feel like no matter what you do to get ahead, life keeps knocking you two steps back? Or maybe you aren’t even trying to get ahead but just get by and life seems to want to hold you back.

In today’s post, I’m gonna talk a little about what I am going through right now in this season of my life.

“Have mercy upon me, O lord; for I am weak: O lord, heal me; for my bones are troubled”(Psalms 6:2).

On October 1, 2020 I went for a follow up on a surgical biopsy that I had done. I made the trip to Birmingham thinking the worst part of my day would be them taking the tape off of my incision. I am a HUGE baby when it comes to incisions and all things blood. I’ll pass out in a heartbeat. Turns out, there wasn’t much to be done after all. The tape would come off by itself , no problem. I was waiting for a prescription for physical therapy and I asked my nurse about my biopsy results. I was then sent back to a room where I would get the most terrifying news of my whole twenty three years of life. And thanks to covid I received the news all on my own.

“Based on your biopsy results, we have diagnosed you with Osteosarcoma”.

Talk about a soul crushing moment. How are you supposed to react when you get news like that? Especially when you are receiving it all alone. I was absolutely terrified. The doctor went on to tell me what my next steps were depending on the CT scan I was about to have done. You hear about cancer and it may affect you throughout your life with friends and family, but when you hear that word and it pertains to your own life… It changes you. It truly does. I thought I was too young to have cancer, ya know?

After I cried for many days following to the point where I was tired of crying and my eyes hurt, I realized that I am very lucky for the twenty three years that I have gotten so far. There are so many people who have not been as blessed as I have, and has been through the same exact thing but did not make it to their twenties. News like that makes you appreciate things like the feeling of sunshine on your skin, which sounds stupid. I would have read that two weeks ago and probably cringed at how corny it sounds.

Luckily, my dad was with me on this visit and he was let into the room after they broke the news because he called the doctor back in for more questions. I could barely remember our conversation except for the word “Osteosarcoma.” I tried to hold my tears in because I do not like crying in front of people, but I was alone in that room and all I could think about was the time I had left on this Earth. Whether I would be able to have babies of my own someday or if I would lose my hair due to chemo.

When my dad came through the door, the floodgates opened. I was dreading telling him that I have this disease called cancer because I knew he had been through it with his brother, twice. But then, he would have to tell my mother which has been through it with her mother who lost her battle to uterine cancer. So not only was my heart broken, but I knew that it would break the hearts of the people who love me.

That same day I got a CT scan of my lungs to see if the cancer has spread. It was the longest day of my life to date. I was there for nearly five hours for what was supposed to be a follow up. By the grace of God, my scans came back clear! It’s the best news I could have asked for in my situation, and I prayed hard for it.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you”(7:7).

Although life is knocking me down, I have faith in God that he is making me stronger in my later seasons of life. Because I do believe that I have a purpose and that he is not finished with me yet. I’m not saying all is well and everything is fine, but I’m choosing to seek the good that will come of all of this.

If you are reading this, thank you for your concern. Or if you are just being nosy, then that is perfectly fine too lol I hope that you will take away something from this post, whether it is empathy, gratitude, or pure appreciation for where you are in life.

Sincerely,

Vanna

18 thoughts on “When life knocks you down”

  1. Oh Savanna, I am sorry your having to go through this but so glad your have your faith and your love ones that will sustain you through it all!! God is mighty and he is in the miracle business! 🙏🏻 I will be praying for you and your family that will be going through this with you! Hugs dear!! ❤️

  2. Savannah Sweet Love! I love you more than words could ever describe and I know God has so much in store for you! Your faith and spirit can move any mountain, so don’t fret 💕💕 continual prayers from me and my family to you and yours. God’s got his arms around you, just continue to trust Him ❣️

  3. Savannah, just want you to know you’ve been in our prayers since day one. I’m so so proud for what you’ve shared with others through this link. I Praise God for giving you the Strength and Courage to over come fear and do this. It is such a testimony to others in so many different ways. Life is though. It seems to just throw us in the mud and then just pack us deeper in the muck. Even though our life events that throw us there are very different, there’s one thing that is absolutely the same. We can’t pick ourselves up and wash ourselves off on our on power or strength. When we look to the one who created us for His purpose and put our Trust totally in Him, through His Mighty Strength, He will raise us up to shine for His Glory. I don’t know why things happen in life like they do. But I do know God said we wouldn’t always understand. “Lean not on your own understanding”. God uses all situations for His Glory through those that put their trust in Him. Savannah, you know I love you and sweet Caleb. I’m so so sorry for what life has thrown at you, but the light of Christ that is already shinning through you as you start this journey is such an awesome testimony of your Faith from the beginning. May your Faith continue to grow stronger each day and God’s light continue to shine to all those around you. 😘❤️🙏🙏

  4. Love you Savanna. God gave you strength and fortitude to share this in the most humble way. You are supported by a large,loving family and extended family. May your journey and healing be supported by our prayers and God’s love.

    Mike

  5. I love you girl, I feel as if you are one of my own. I’ve watched you grow into the strong, beautiful young woman you are today. I’m praying for you and your family.

  6. Savannah, I did not choose you that honor was my son’s. But if I could have picked his match it would be you. You are the love of his life, his cherished wife and a blessing to us all. You are more than my daughter – in – law you are my daughter- in- heart.God is going to work all of this out for the good. All of the pain , frustration and heartache. Some how , and in some way , he is going to use all of the broken pieces to make a masterpiece. Proud to be your mother- in- law and honored to be your friend. I love you more than you will ever know💕

    1. I absolutely love you and I am blessed beyond measure to be able to call you family💓

  7. Savanna I’m truly sorry to read this, as a cancer survivor you never want to hear of someone else being diagnosed. Your blog will help you throughout this journey and you will see this will turn into you helping so many others. Your Faith, Family, friends and community will see you through this. Lifting you daily in prayer. You know you will never walk this alone, HE will walk beside you.
    Prayers for the journey ahead. You will knock it out like the fighter you are!
    Sylvia Ambrose

  8. Savannah, The word Cancer terrifies me. But I can identify with your feelings, About a year ago this month is when Uncle Dave was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. For him the scans showed it had progressed all through his body. We/He went through the treatments like the soldier he is. But for him, God took the burden away 6 months later. He is at peace now. For you, you are young and strong, the medical profession changes all the time, have confidence in them. Praise God he will be with you all the way. Love you and hope you continue to keep your beautiful smile. The “whole” family has got your back. One Day at a time, this too will pass.

  9. Savanah, I work with Joley and she has shared your journey with me and all I can say is WOW, what a testimony. Know that you have a lot of prayers going up for you. Stand on his promises. Remember that his mercies are new every morning. His ways are higher than our ways. He created each one of us with purpose and it is up to us to fulfill that purpose. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Speak life to yourself everyday. Everyday no matter how you feel proclaim his healing and proclaim life and life more abundantly. When we seek him we will find him. Thank you for sharing and being a light to those around you and those who follow your journey. May his favor be upon you.

    1. Thank you for this message and all the prayers.♥️ I appreciate them so very much!!

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